4 ways to attack insecurity (and not let it rule your life or your paycheck)

As women, we all have our own sets of insecurities. It's almost inevitable as a human to doubt yourself one way or another. It's NOT something we want to get used to but it's there, it's real, and it can ruin your life if you allow it to. 



• They paralyze you in pursuit of a goal.

• They can ruin important relationships or keep them from forming.

• They weigh us down making it harder to reach out to God. 

• They make us believe lies that are not true about ourselves. 

* They encourage us to project those lies we believe on other people. 

Needless to say, we don't need them or want them anywhere around us. Yet, a lot of times we feel as though we cannot escape them. 

This week I started a new adventure. I was tired of feeling stuck professionally and it occurred to me that the last time I felt stuck, it was because I wasn't growing and wasn't improving myself. You know the feeling, like when you spot a fellow business owner who just reached 10k followers, or was just featured on a well renowned site. Or when your friends are all getting promotions and you realize that you're in the same place you were three years ago. 

When I was willing to admit that I was disappointed with how things were going, it unveiled the insecurities that have been holding me back for years.

"Im not good enough."

"No one likes me. They like her better."

"No one wants to hear what I have to say."

"I'm not smart enough or as qualified."

"I must not be worthy."

LIES. Another big fat lie is when we believe that we don't have control over how those lies affect us. 

CALL ALL CONTROL FREAKS...this is where it gets good.

We give our selves permission to believe the lies that satan plants on our hearts through our insecurities. Instead, we need to be giving ourselves permission to seek the TRUTH about ourselves, conquer the lies, and become empowered through the process. 

We need to be living our Permission Pledge. Here is mine:

I pledge to stop believing that my lack of "success" is a result of me not being enough. I promise to allow myself to use the thoughts that once attacked me, to better myself for my family, my friends, and my business. I promise to give my self praise for hard work, and give God the praise for the work he does in me. I give myself permission take control of my relationship with the words of the world, and replace it with Godly truths. 

Tweet: I pledge to stop believing that my lack of success is a result of me not being enough.#Permissionpledge @jilliandolberryhttp://bit.ly/2asF6Gy

My biggest hangup lately has been overcoming my insecurity about sharing my life's testimony.  I'm an introvert who's called to live as an extrovert, and that is a scary path to take. Also keeping my testimony to my self means I'm only halfway doing what I'm supposed to. I'm not awesome at math, but even I know that pursuing half of my purpose/mission means half of the success. God isn't going to fully reward you for doing half of the job he called you to do.

Tweet: God isn't going to fully reward you for doing half of the job he called you to do.@jilliandolberry http://bit.ly/2asF6Gy

Some times sharing your heart is the hardest part. Not only am I insecure about being transparent, but I also project those feelings on other people. Maybe you can relate.

For example, we went out with friends a few weekends ago. The Tennessee humidity is THE WORST and I was frizzy headed and sweaty in no time. Total Jimmy Fallon "EW" moment. So, I assumed that anyone around me also thought how disgusting I looked and I immediately felt as though I have to apologize when they hugged me or got near me. (reading that- it sounds so sad, but we all do this often!) And in reality, no one cared that my makeup was melting off my face, they just enjoyed my company. 

See how that happens? We put words in other peoples mouths and we project our ugly thoughts on them. Not only is that not fair to US or THEM, but it's not fair to God. My husband could have whispered "you look nice tonight" and I would have made some comment like, "yeah right". But that could have been a message from God through him to show me that I am loved no matter what. 

In those moments I'm not only discrediting my self worth, but I'm saying that God isn't as incredible as he is either. AND THAT'S JUST BOLOGNA. 


• Advise a trusted friend who knows your heart, and seek some biblical truths together. Even if a friend says what you've read a million times, it can still heal your heart in a whole new way because THEY said it. 

Action step: find a verse or quote (a power verse) that empowers you to keep moving forward and post it somewhere you will see it daily. Bathroom mirror, nightstand, use it as a page marker in a book your reading. Let it serve as a reminder of how EMPOWERED you are.

• Grow some confidence. The love God has for you, and how he has entrusted you with such dreams/purposes should be the greatest amount of confidence you can obtain.

Action Step:  Identify the strong traits that the Lord blessed you with. Write them everywhere. Put them with your (power verse) to be seen daily. Also, ask a trusted friend what they love most about you and what your doing. Sometimes an outsider can see more clearly than we can. 

• Stop putting words in other people's mouth and assuming they think less of you. In that moment your the only one who is thinking less of you. 

Action step: Approach someone who you think may be doubting you. Don't say anything that might assume you know what they are thinking like, "I know you don't believe in me." Instead, confidently speak from your heart about what you do/what you like to do. Prove to them your worthiness by the confidence you carry. 

• Pray that God will help lift your burdens and help push you onward. The only other person besides ourselves who has control over our hearts is the Lord. Confide in him to awaken the fiery, powerful woman you know you can be.

Tweet: Prove to them your worthiness by the confidence you carry. @jilliandolberry #insecurenomore http://bit.ly/2asF6Gy

My hope is that we all will realize that God controls the journey, but we decide how enjoyable, purposeful and profitable it is. And with the King of all the nations on our side, the world is at our fingertips.

SHOP NEWS: Today is the first day of August which means we have new Featured Charities this month to give 50% profits from our Prints that Give line! Check out our NEW print in memory of the precious Brooks Blackmore.