Forgiveness is new to me. I don't think I made my first true effort into forgiving someone until I was 24. I had mumbled the words "I forgive you" many times before then, but truly forgiving someone is so much more than a phrase. The roots of hurt and pain go so deep that it takes time (sometimes years) to dig them up and let go. Of course God is our example of forgiving someone much quicker than that, but as imperfect as we are, we are often times our own roadblock.
The same person's name has been in the Forgiveness section of my Humbled Hearts Daybook for about a year or so, and It's almost turned into a repetitive nature to write it down every month (because I haven't fully forgiven them) except I hesitate to pray about it. I really just try to shut it out of my mind in an effort to move on with my life. But it's not truly moving on if you don't feel at peace when you think about it.
I have triggers. I see and hear things that bring me right back to that extremely hurtful time and it's like all that "moving on" I was doing was just erased and takes me right back to feeling oh so small in a big world of negative nancy's. I keep thinking that an apology for how it was handled and the hurtful words spoken would be nice, but I can't wait for that or I will be waiting forever.
My only out of this prison of anger and hurt is to truly forgive. Here are some defined steps I am taking in my journey to forgiveness.
Think about the situation, and define your feelings about it.
For a long time I was just really really mad. How could this person do this- it seemed completely out of their character, yet they had no trouble stomping on me when they had the chance. But my anger was just a cover up for the real feels of hurt and betrayal. Define your own feelings and just articulating them will help process your true feels about it.
Separate your self from this person with a healthy distance.
I am not saying cut them out completely, although sometimes that is best, but more so create a boundary. You cannot heal when you are circling the root of the problem. Circles don't take you places. They only repeat whatever you have experienced before that keeps you in this trap.
Ask God to heal your heart and make up for what you cannot accomplish on your own.
I constantly feel like God is covering me in life. We all fall short in being the perfect wife, mother, friend, business owner, etc. But God always picks up where we leave off. I am a believer in the phrase "Fake it until you make it!" What the phrase doesn't define outright is that God bridges the FAKE IT to the MAKE IT. We can break our backs to make something happen, but without his will we have nothing. True forgiveness comes through the Lord.
Pray for God to lift the bad feelings from your heart. To fill you with peace when you come across a trigger. To remind you how big of a deal you are to him, when you you feel like the smallest person on the planet. And to learn how to accept the situation for what it is, and fully and completely move on to do greater more important things to glorify him.
We can't fully experience God's amazing plan for our lives when we are circling the drain. We need to learn how to let go, and move forward, because there is ALWAYS a greater joy ahead. We just have to let our selves get there. I pray that you find peace in the process of forgiveness, and I pray for those who you are trying to forgive. Where ever the offenders hearts are in this process, they need God's love and grace just as much as you do.
If you follow along on social media, you know there will be a newly updated version of the Humbled Hearts Daybook available really soon. This new version has the same prayer prompts as the last, with an addition that is created to serve as your spiritual check up each month. It is a hybrid between a devotional and a prayer journal that I believe will bring so many hearts closer to God. How exciting, right!? Also, there will be fresh new covers (just revealed via social media! See why you should follow along?!) and a fuller month spread to last you 6 months instead of 4. Same great price, same size, just lot's more to look forward to.
This new daybook is also in tandem with a NEW SHOP on our site and a whole new collection of prints that will brighten your hearts and add warmth to your home.
Updates will be posted here on the blog, on