For the longest time, I have thought about what it would be like to be a mother. To finally understand how much my parents truly love me, and to get a glimpse into how much our Lord cares for us.
My husband and I are extremely excited to welcome our little boy in early fall of this year. Creating a family with the man I love has been my dream for many, many years. And we have had such a beautiful welcome into this new stage of life so far. It's so amazing how much JOY a new life brings.
We found out on Christmas Eve. I took a home test and got the oh-so-desired pink lines. I had taken several tests in months prior and my stomach was in knots every time, but this time was different. I was calm. All I could think was, "Thank you God for this incredible blessing" and "oh crap, I just drank a ton of coffee." As I sat there in the bathroom grinning from ear to ear, I started thinking up different/fun ways to tell Zack that day. I thought, "Should I wrap the stick* and put it in with his other gifts for him to open on Christmas?" PSH... I could NOT wait that long. So I settled on putting it in his stocking and calling him in the room to open right then. We have a habit of letting each other open gifts early so it wasn't out of the ordinary. Once I told him to look in his stocking, he pulled out the stick and stared at it..(He said he was looking at the lines and the key on the stick to make sure it said pregnant.... Like I would give him a pee stick that said "sorry, try again! haha!" When he turned around and looked at me, I was already in tears of course and he rushed to me to hug and kiss me. Best moment ever and one I will never forget.
* Yes the PEE stick, don't worry I cleaned it off! Some people think this is gross, "ew you held a stick with your wife's pee?!" YES he did, and he loved every minute of it... after he washed his hands.
Keeping this secret over Christmas and New Years was the worst, but it was also really special to have this anticipated news just between the two of us for a little while. And of course, the doctors offices were all closed for the holidays so we waited (forever it seemed) until we could get in there and have some tests done to make sure this was all really happening for us. Once we did we were off to tell the family...
It being our first, we wanted to tell everyone in person. So we began to plan some ideas of how to tell...
I will never forget the look on my Mom's face as my husband slips into the prayer before family dinner "...a special prayer for Sam and Jane as they become grandparents for the first time...!" Or the look of excitement on my grandparents faces as we told them. Or the all the hugs when everyone stands up to congratulate Zack and I once they caught a glimpse of an ultrasound picture in my Poppy's 85th birthday card. Or the moment when my brother in law picks me up off the floor and spins me around the room because he can't wait for his little one to have a cousin. Or the look on my sister's face when she realizes that I am not drinking a beer at dinner for a very important reason. Or the amount of excitement expressed from my friends as "another one bites the dust". Or the feeling of complete pride I felt from my Dad as he congratulated us. I will never forget those moments. EVER.
This baby is so loved, and I knew he would be, but there is just such a new level of love and appreciation when you have prayed so hard for a baby, and God blesses you with the opportunity to be parents. It's just a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of faith and family, there is no other way to put it.
We feel so blissfully unprepared and unworthy of such a miracle, but so ready to put our complete trust in God that he will lead us through this new stage together.
So far, each new day has its challenges. Morning (AHEM all day) sickness and headaches have been real, ugly and relentless, but also slightly fading away the further along we get. Fatigue and getting winded walking up any stairs is the norm. I need naps like I need food, but I keep telling my self, "when else can you get away with taking a nap in the middle of the work day... milk this girl!" And did I mention none of my clothes fit since I pretty much found out? I wouldn't trade it for the WORLD.
To my husband,
You are going to be a great father. Everyone keeps saying this of you, and they gather this by how incredible you are as a person and a teacher, but they also have no idea. They don't see you at home with me, or at a dinner table with our families surrounding us. But if they did, they just might begin to understand that you aren't just going to be a great dad, but a wonderful support system for me and a strong leader for our growing family, I am so confident in this because of where you come from and who you are when no one is watching. I have dreamed of all these moments we are experiencing for years, and to share them with you makes them even more special than I could have imagined. I love you! #hotdadalert
So far I am half way into my pregnancy. It seems surreal and really hard to believe that in less than 5 months, our lives will forever be different. FOR-EVER. Thank you everyone who has congratulated us on this journey, given us things and helpful advice moving forward. We are so appreciative.
Over the past few months, I have done a lot of thinking about how this will affect my business and I am still working through a flexible plan of how it will all pan out after he arrives. But for now I can say that as of today I will not be accepting any more design inquiries for a little while. More of me needs to be available during our transition period and I want nothing more than to spend as much time with my little man as I can. The shop will stay open but be put on vacation mode for a short time after delivery. Also, The blog content will be shifting. As I am sure you are picking up with this post, there is some new inspired content and projects in the works. I am excited to share them with you really soon.
If you have any questions about how this will effect HBDC or your pending project, please feel free to get in touch.